Jealous
by random716
Summary: A songfic. AUish. Iris-centric. SnowBarry-ish. "When you looked at her, where was I?"


So I recently rediscovered this old local song and since I can relate almost _any_ song to **SnowBarry** , I've been itching to write it. I asked _some people_ to write it for me but they keep ignoring me. So, sorry for this flop.

Listen to the song Jealous by Nina

* * *

 **Note:** Julian doesn't exist and WA didn't happen.

 **Disclaimer:** I _don't_ own The Flash. But I own this pathetic one shot's plot.

* * *

It was a generally normal day when Iris became aware of _it_. Iris and Barry were in Jitters enjoying their favorite cup of coffee. A cup of cappuccino with a dash of cinnamon for her and a Flash for Barry. Just like how it is in many of their normal hang outs. But today, something has changed for Iris West.

Today—at least to Iris—Barry's smile is a little more radiant and his eyes, shines a little bit brighter. And today, Iris West discovered something. There's a budding feeling in her for Barry.

Realizing this, her mind panicked, "Sorry," she said, standing up, "I just remembered I have a due!" she said and hurried out.

Barry had confessed to her over two years before and she declined. She should not be feeling this way towards Barry, not now. Her heart broke when she had to break his when he confessed. But she had to do it, she can't lie to Barry. And she loved Eddie. _So why is she feeling this now?_

Surely, Barry had moved on—he had had Linda and Patty. And telling him about this budding feeling will definitely stir emotions. And she was not sure it was the fuzzy ones.

Barry Allen is her best friend in the whole world and she can't do that—this to him.

=ϟ❄=

"Where is he?" Iris turned and found it was Dr. Caitlin Snow on their door looking uncharacteristically disheveled.

Iris motioned to the one of the kitchen island where Barry is. He hurt himself fighting a meta but STAR Labs is a mess right now, courtesy of the same meta, so Barry came back to the Wests household when he was injured.

Iris knew Caitlin for quite some time. She was Barry's doctor when he got hit by a lightning. Then after that, she became Barry's personal physician—that's what she knew, before she knew Barry was The Flash and that Dr. Caitlin Snow is The Flash's personal physician.

With that fact, Iris slowly stood up and distanced herself from injured Barry and let the actual doctor do the checking up.

Iris had spent a decent amount of time with Caitlin because of the fact that both of them are in the loop about Barry being The Flash. But she can't say they are friends. The more proper term would be "acquaintance". She can only say good things about the doctor. Caitlin is smart, kind and selfless.

"I warned you several times, your body may be tougher than any normal person, but so does these other metahumans." she said sternly as she patched up Barry's burnt upper arm.

"I know," Barry answered

"You _know_ and you still launch head-first to danger," she said sarcastically and annoyed.

Iris silently watched and listened to the exchange as she was observing from the side.

"Well, in _this_ danger, he launched _shoulder-_ first," Cisco intervened.

Caitlin glared at him mildly while Barry smirked at that.

Iris may have witnessed this kind of exchange far too many times to be familiar with the emotion she feels building up. She felt out of place. She stood up and silently walked out of the kitchen to somewhere in the living room where she can still see and hear them.

It was not familiar for her to see Barry feel this at home aside from her and her father. And she felt left out. She knew it was petty and kind of selfish but she can't help it.

Cisco said some excuse of fixing something in the lab.

Caitlin rolled her eyes and sighed, sounding annoyed. Barry still had a goofy smile on his face as he watched Caitlin grumbled and continued to work on his burns.

"You really shouldn't worry too much," Barry said softly.

"It's because I'm your doctor, Barry," Caitlin said.

Iris watched as a small speck of sadness filled his eyes but before she was sure, it was replaced by a smile as he looked up to her, "Thank you, Cait."

Caitlin's eyes soften as it focused on Barry's then smiled a bit. "I'll always worry about you, Barry,"

With the smile that Barry beamed, Iris felt a pang in her chest seeing that look on his eyes.

 _When did that happened?_

=ϟ❄=

Everyone is in a festive mood because Barry just defeated a metahuman that proved to be hard to defeat. The meta had the power to transfer things from one place to another and is a Physics genius that calculated his speed, velocity and friction. Barry hit a lot of big and hard things before they figured out his weakness. Apparently, just like Peek-A-Boo he can only transfer things he can see to a location he can see.

When Cisco ID'd the meta, Caitlin deducted something seeing the photo available. Out of 5 photos, one shows him sporting glasses which everyone brushed aside but she was adamant that something is not right with that—which later proved true when they recovered his driver's license which had type B restriction.

And they used it to their advantage. Cisco made a disposable heat gun, broke a water pipe and made the water evaporate which created a mist and restricted his already restricted vision.

They captured the meta easily after that. He was so distracted by the mist that Barry easily got to his blind side and knocked him out.

Everyone is chatting to themselves and was drinking and eating in the West's household. Iris felt happy and very relieved that Barry saved the city once again without getting very hurt.

She was about to approach Barry when someone beat her into it. She stopped on her tracks and watched as his face lightened up upon laying his eyes on her.

Caitlin had a gentle expression on her face as she laid a hand on Barry's shoulder.

Barry's eyes briefly looked at her hand and then looked at her face. He had a small smile on his face and his eyes found hers.

It was a small moment—not tacky, nothing so grand, but Iris felt she was invading a very intimate moment. She had to look away. _Since when did_ that _happened?_

=ϟ❄=

She guessed she doesn't have to feel surprised when others started to notice them.

Iris was at CCPD to check in with her dad and invite him for lunch when she heard:

"Do you think Allen's sick?" one officer asked.

Iris eyes curiously and worriedly looked at the new young officer who asked. _Why would he say that?_

The older female officer, Perez, looked amused when she smiled and answer, "Allen's not sick, Kid," she says.

"Then why does he keep seeing his doctor?"

Perez shook his head lightly and motioned the officer to look at the direction; her eyes followed the motion and saw Barry, about to approach Caitlin who is standing few feet away from the information, looking a bit her usual self—uptight.

She watched as the stoic doctor smiled easily when Barry approached and greeted her with a big smile and a hug.

"Do you see how pretty Allen's doctor is—especially when she smiles like that?"

The young officer had a small blush when he nodded, "Yeaaah." he agreed, "I noticed that she's pretty when I see her at the Receiving Area but, wow," he exclaimed breathlessly, "She's beautiful,"

Perez chuckled and said, "Stop it, she only smiles like that to Allen,"

The two officers started to have a work-related conversation and moved away from her earshot, but Iris stayed glued to where she is.

 _She only smiles like that to Allen._

"Hey, Iris, you ready to go?" Joe's voice broke her trance. She smiled and motioned to her dad to go.

While walking to the exit, she heard herself, "Dad, does Caitlin visit Barry often?"

Joe stopped on his tracks and looked at her. He had a distant smile and said vaguely, "I'm really glad Caitlin is there to take care of Barry, and he to her,"

….

Few days after, when she arrived at STAR Labs and saw Cisco was alone in the cortex, she can't contain herself. She asked him.

Iris didn't know what to make out of his response. "I guessed shouldn't feel surprised if the two of them are, you know, a thing," Cisco said. "But I hope they aren't.. at least not _yet_. I don't know, maybe I'll just feel a bit hurt if they _are_ together and decide _not_ to tell me," she looked at the Engineer and contemplated whether she felt the same way.

Her mind tells her that she empathize with how Cisco is feeling since she still considers Barry as her best friend and him not telling her about something like this would hurt her. Though the slight pinch in her heart makes her disagree.

Her eyes focused on Cisco again when he started speaking again, "I mean, Barry—he, he jump started Caitlin stop being _stuck_ where she was when Ronnie _died._ He made Caitlin smile again,"

Iris listened as she tried to remember how the doctor was when she used to meet her when Barry was still in a coma. And picturing the professional, stoic doctor and remembering the gentle and reassuring smile she keeps seeing her give Barry, she knew Cisco was right.

"He revealed The Flash's existence to save her," Iris looked at Cisco as he talked, "Also, Caitlin," he motioned his fingers, counting "..one, she refused to grab an opportunity to re-establish her career and chose to stay to take care of Barry when he was still in a coma. Two, she asked him not to reveal himself even when Cold and Rory kidnapped her," he shook his head, "..three, she turned down an opportunity to have a new life with _Ronnie_ to help him—us, in doing what we do. Four, she risked so much when she begged Jay—Hunter—Zoom to spare his life and being kidnapped _again_ in the process," he continued, then sighed, "When she became full Killer Frost, _he_ was the one who brought her back."

Iris remembered how she thought Barry was insane when he told Caitlin those words: _Kill me, Caitlin._ She remembered how she was figuratively chastised when Cisco told her that it was gonna be okay—and it did.

She remembers thinking: _when did these people knew my best friend more that I do?_

"But if ever they _are_ together," he said as her eyes looked at one corner of the cortex. "I'll feel more relieved that they found each other," he paused, "Both of them have been through so much and I will be so happy if they found someone to be there for them and understands their pains in the deepest way possible.. in each other." he finished. Iris stayed quiet, thinking about what she feels. "What do _you_ think about it?" Cisco caught her attention when he directed his attention to her.

She didn't know what to answer to that.

=ϟ❄=

Iris cemented her theories as she watch Barry's panicked, worried and teary face when Caitlin was kidnapped (again).

Some metahuman from another Earth that challenged The Flash figured out who he was and who are the people closest to him and decided to kidnap Caitlin.

"This _can't_ be happening _again,_ " he said as he paced back and forth.

"You have to calm down, Barry," Joe said.

"How can you tell me to calm down, Joe?!" Barry shouted, "Caitlin is kidnapped _again_ , because of _me; she's in danger again, because of me._ "

"You _have_ to calm down, Barry," it was Cisco who told him off. Looking uncharacteristically disapproving, "Caitlin can take care of herself. And that meta will not kill her because he will use her to get to you," he continued, "And it's already working,"

Everyone stayed quiet and Barry's edginess is palpable for everyone to feel. Barry stopped pacing and run his fingers through his hair. "What do we do?" he asked desperately.

"You need to get your head out of your ass and focus, Barry," Cisco said.

….

Cisco and Barry thought out a plan to confront the meta and save Caitlin. Mostly, the discussion was between the two of them with Wally inputting some but her and Joe stayed to listen.

Barry was mostly focused but upon their final summary of the whole plan, he sighed nervously and said, "We can't lose her, Cisco," he admitted, " _I_ can't lose her," he whispered.

Iris looked at him, "Barry," she whispered, expecting him to realize and elaborate what he just said.

Barry's sad eyes found hers and the defeat and slight smile he gave; he rubbed his face and exhaled. "I think.. no," he shook his head, "I love her," His eyes seek everyone else's which are looking at him expectantly. "When we save her, I'll tell her,"

Everyone looked happy, relieved and determined.

"We'll save her, Barry," Wally said as he put a reassuring hand on Barry's shoulder.

=ϟ❄=

Barry just saved Caitlin from the evil meta and while doing so, he confessed his feelings for all of them to hear. And now that he defeated the meta, Caitlin running to Barry for a tight hug says how she felt the same way.

Iris felt a smile in her face and it kinda sound masochistic but she sort of liked the hurt she felt in her heart seeing Barry and Caitlin—because the pain she feels makes her realize that this time, she loved Barry the best way possible. And the happiness she genuinely felt upon breaking that smile on her face is the proof of that.

Barry is still her best friend and she's _so_ glad he found someone like Caitlin. She can never empathize with Barry's pain like Caitlin does.

It hurts in her chest, but it's for the best.


End file.
